When the scare wears off

Maybe it was a test result with a word in it. A price at the register that stung. A question from a kid you couldn't answer well. A night your chest did something that scared you. Whatever it was, it was sharp enough to carry you. And lately it's gone a little dull.

Good. That's what reasons do. Nobody can live on high alert forever, and you weren't built to. A rocket drops its boosters on the way up, and nobody at mission control panics. Falling away is their job. Meanwhile the cigarette has been waiting for your scare to wear off. It's betting on the wrong thing.

If the reason's been thin for a while and you're still free, the reason isn't what's holding you. Something steadier took over, so smoothly you missed the handover. A reason is fuel, and fuel burns off. Nobody wakes up needing motivation to keep their own name. You don't need a reason to be yourself.

Answer this out loud, right now. Why are you free today? If the honest answer sounds more like it didn't come up than like the scare, the handover's done. God was running it the whole time. Let the old reason retire with honors. Go live like someone who doesn't need one.