Somebody else signed for you

Somebody signed you up for this. Go look at who. For a lot of people it was a teenager. Someone trying to look easy in front of four or five kids whose names are fuzzy now. For others it was a younger, more worn out version of themselves in a rough season. Either way, it wasn't the person paying the bill today.

Read the terms they agreed to. Nobody showed them the fine print. Not the money. Not the hours of every day it would claim. Not the hiding, or how hard it would be to cancel. They weren't weighing a life. They were solving one room, one night. The cigarette got a signature from someone who never saw the bill.

Would you sign it today? Same terms, laid out in full, knowing everything you know now. You wouldn't. You'd tear it up before anyone you love could get near it. That contract stayed alive for one reason. Nobody ever went back to reopen it, until you did.

Find a photo of yourself from around when it started. Look at that face with some kindness. They weren't stupid. They were young, or tired, in a hard room. Forgive them. God handed this decision back to you, with your eyes wide open this time. Lord, I'm taking the pen back. Steady my hand. This time, the one who pays is the one who signs.