Hating it keeps it close

You're allowed to stop hating it. You've been working hard at it. Reading the worst facts. Replaying the ugliest pictures. Calling it disgusting every time it crosses your mind. Contempt feels safe. But notice what's still at the center of your attention by evening. Hatred is a full time job, and it pays in exhaustion.

You don't hate the town you moved away from. You stopped checking its weather. That's what finished feels like. The opposite of attachment isn't disgust. It's boredom. Hatred keeps the thing front and center all day. You can't be done with something you're still watching.

Hatred suits the cigarette fine, as long as it keeps your attention. And contempt runs on energy, which has bad days. Tired, embarrassed, three hours into an argument, the anger thins out. That's exactly when the pull slips through. Indifference doesn't thin. It runs on nothing at all.

Put the hatred down. Keep your good sense about triggers. That's wisdom, not contempt. Next time it comes up, give it the interest you'd give that old town's forecast. God led you out of there. He isn't asking you to keep watch over the place. You don't live there anymore.