The handshake you two invented

Your friend isn't the problem. The setup is. Their name pops up and your body's already getting ready. You two did this together until it grew into the friendship, like a handshake you made up and stopped thinking about. Your hands still know every move.

The cigarette sat between you so often it started passing itself off as the friendship. It wasn't. You liked this person for more than that. You don't have to lose them. You have to move the meeting off the trigger.

Reply now, and put a new place in it. A walk. The gym. A diner. Their kitchen instead of the yard. Then add one plain sentence. I'm quitting, and it helps me if we do something else. No apology. No lecture about their habits. You're telling them what you need, and good friends can hold that.

Most friends say sure and mean it. Some go quiet for a bit, hearing a judgment you didn't make. That passes. Tell God what you want out of this. Keep the friend, Lord. Take the habit. Hit send. You just picked the version of this friendship that lasts.