Say it in the present tense

Listen to the difference between two sentences. 'I'm trying to quit.' And: 'I don't smoke.' The first one describes a struggle — a person mid-arm-wrestle, outcome uncertain, temptation still holding a vote. The second describes a fact about who you are. Same behavior. Completely different center of gravity.

This isn't wordplay. Studies on refusal language found that people who said 'I don't' held their commitments dramatically better than people who said 'I can't.' 'I can't' means a rule is stopping you — and rules invite exceptions. 'I don't' means nothing is being stopped. There's just no such behavior in you to stop.

So retire the struggling sentences. Not 'I'm cutting back,' not 'I can't have one,' not 'I'm on day whatever of trying.' When it comes up — with a friend, or inside your own head — use the plain one: 'No thanks. I don't smoke.' Notice how it doesn't ask anyone's permission, including your own cravings'.

Words are how you introduce yourself to yourself. Say the true sentence enough times and the old identity has nothing left to grip. You were made in the image of a God who speaks things into being — so speak this one plainly, in the present tense, where it belongs.